Sunday, July 20, 2008

Hellboy II: The Golden Army - Complete Movie Review & Plot Guide

I am here to review Hellboy 2! Okay, I just came back from watching it at the Cineleisure and I think it was really good.

The movie had a lot of kick-ass action, and Hellboy is way too awesome, he knows how to keep it cool and steady with jokes even in the most tense situations, like in the fight with Mr Wink and he keeps grudging how his imported-from-Cuba cigar was soaked in the puddle rather than worrying of the possibility of injury from Mr Wink. Prince Nuada reminds me of Legolas from LOTR, except much more evil. The screenplay is exceptionally well done, the acting is not bad, and TWO THUMBS UP FOR RON PERLMAN FOR SUPERB POTRAYAL OF HELLBOY!

This filmed scored 9.1/10. It lost 0.9 points because I DIDN'T WATCH THE FIRST MOVIE! xD


Let me compose a thorough synopsis for all of you :D (Yes, I will attempt to type it all out and you will see that I have completed it at the end of the post)

The movie starts with a young Hellboy in an army base being told by his adoptive father of a story in which the humans fought with the mythical creatures. King Balor (the elf) approved a goblin's wish to create a mechanical army (The Golden Army) that will never stop fighting and will only heed orders from the King as long as no one challenged the king in doing so. After the merciless battle, King Balor thought that it was very shameful and inhumane so he accepted truce with the humans. However, Prince Nuada (son of King Balor) disapproved and vowed to return when his people will neeed him most.

In present day New York, a Blackwater auctions a piece of the crown that is needed to re-summon the Golden Army. Nuada arrives with his sidekick, Mr Wink (and ugly troll), and kills all of the humans with deadly flesh-eating 'tooth fairies'. However, the BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense) sent Hellboy, Liz, Abe and two other normal-human agents to find out what happened. Nuada escaped with the piece. An agent called Johann Krauss was sent to assist and lead the team. They made their way to the Troll Market which is hidden from humans, considering it is right under Brooklyn Bridge. Abe tracks down a Princess Nuala (Nuada's twin) to a store where the owner gave Nuala a cylinder with a map inside, showing directions to the location of the Golden Army. Mr Wink crashes in and Nuala escapes while Abe is being the punch-bag for Winky (C'mon, you know Winky is Mr Wink, not another character!). Hellboy intervenes and killed Winky when Winky's retractable chain-fist got stuckheart. Not wanting to kill him, the team steals a plane and set out to Northern Ireland (as indicated on Nuala's map). A goblin greets them upon arrival. He brings them into a hidden underground city (a dead city, that is) and brought Hellboy to confront the Angel of Death, who removes the spear tip and gives it to the goblin.

The team then explores the city deeper and reaches the resting place of the Golden Army. Nuada and Nuala awaits them, and Abe handed the last piece of the piece to Nuada. Nuada breaches his promise and summons the Golden Army to destroy Hellboy, who is actually a demon (but very witty and good). Nuada then assembles all three pieces of the crown and asks the audience for challenge. Hellboy bravely challenges Nuada to a sword fight. The twins (Nuada and Nuala) possess a shared magical bond in which one will also feel what the other has gone through. After some kick-ass action involving large spinning gears, a very lucky Hellboy, and a very exhausted Nuada, Nuala stabs a dagger into her heart, in which Nuada also feels the dagger in his own heart. Nuada then turns into a stone and crumbles (HEH!). A very sad Abe went to Nuala to tell her his feelings of her (you know, LOVE). Nuala replies the same and transform into a stone as well (but she didn't crumble into cookie crumbs). Hellboy was thinking about the powers he has, with the crown in his hand, but Liz snatches the crown and melts it with her pyrokinetic powers (for you folks that doesn't know what is pyrokinetic, is the ability to manipulate/create fire just like in Fantastic Four). The Golden Army then fell and shuts down.

Not liking the bald boss of BPRD, Hellboy resigns along with Liz and Abe. The baldy then asks Johann Krauss, a man of his liking, to not resign, in which he funnily said 'You can suck my ectoplasmic Schwanzstücke!'. Hellboy keeps his Big Baby pistol and talks to Liz about living in the countryside with a large yard for the baby (Liz's pregnant) when Liz corrects him, 'babies'. Surprised, Hellboy turns around and the credits roll.


Whew, it was really tiring to type all of this. Do not reproduce this exact movie review anywhere.
I think I have just produced a complete and quite thorough movie plot ever!
in some gears and he got pulled inside. As the team goes out, Nuada appears and set out the last surviving Forest Elemental. The Elemental then tries to kill Hellboy, and Hellboy shoots down the Elemental and the Elemental's spilt blood changes the roads into grass and tiny rolling hills and the head of the Elemental blooms into a gigantic flower. Nuala is then vouched for trust by Abe and is taken under care of by the BPRD. Nuala arrives at the BRPD's HQ, kidnaps Nuala, and severes Hellboy by thrusting a spear tip into his chest. Abe managed to get hold of the sought-after piece. Abe then tries to pull the spear tip out, but everytime he gets nearer to the spear tip it magically moves nearer and nearer to Hellboy's

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